Resolve or Not to Resolve, Will You Make 2022 Resolutions?

HAPPY 2022!!! May it be a joyous year for you and those you care about.

This week I am bringing back a post I wrote in December  2016. Seems like a lifetime ago. Before I published most of my novels, before Covid, before I joined my writing community, hired an editor. Did I mention, before Covid? I have modified it for current times, and no surprise, it is about making my New Year’s resolutions.

I Resolve

Every December I make a mile-long list of things I want to change – write faster and better, lose weight, change my eating habits, keep in touch with friends, or get more sleep. I know before I start, the resolutions won’t stick. Still, I convince myself if I make resolutions I stand a better chance of improving. Interestingly, reviewing this list five years later it is almost identical. What does that tell you about my success with resolutions? With this track record, some might quit. Not me. I persevere.

I tell myself they are goals, not resolutions, because January is a good time for a fresh start. I have a new planner, I did my year-end review (twice), I watched several webinars to help me set my 2022 goals.

Goals, we set them all the time, both in business and at home. We start the calendar year resolved to do more as a family, get more exercise, sell more widgets, write more words, find a new job, get better grades in school. We resolve to change in large and small ways, because we understand that setting a goal is the first step toward achieving it.

I love setting goals. I love making lists. I love imagining all the wonderful things I will accomplish. That is, until my lists get out of hand. There are scraps of paper and notebooks overflowing my desk—all of them lists. To do lists, to write lists, to call lists, and of course, 2022 goals lists. They all share one common thread: over-promising and under-delivering. And this is bad for my morale.

I set out to achieve way too much in way too short a time. Did I mention I love instant gratification, too? This is a dangerous combination.Seriously, I know I will abandon a long-term goal, no matter how much I believe I want to achieve it. Why? It doesn’t matter, really. It could be to watch the next episode of The Crown, or Ted Lasso, or to spend a few hours talking on the phone with friends. Whatever will make me happy in the moment will win out. For me, and for most of us.

And yet, people create planners, and courses, and books, about setting our goals. Or at New Year’s, our resolutions. Me, I buy most of them.

 

To Resolve or Not to Resolve, That is the Question

Sorry Shakespeare for pilfering your brilliant words. But the debate rages. There are experts who swear resolutions work, and an equal number who advise against making them. I never learn, so I made a list of short- and long-term goals I would love to achieve. Some are obvious, some are easy, and some require that I recommit to them every day. Losing the stubborn pounds, cleaning out a drawer and finishing a novel are resolutions on differing scales, requiring differing levels of commitment. All resolutions are not created equal.

I have returned to my habit master—SJ Scott. You may remember him from my “Four Steps Forward” post. On his advice, I resolve to set only three goals per day. I can always accomplish more, but I will not accomplish less. And on the advice of people like Ruth Soukup, of Livingwellspendingless.com, the Living Well Planner and a wealth of courses to make me more productive, people who astonish me with the number of balls they juggle, I will prioritize the important taks first. Otherwise, the big stuff, my Crazy Eight Romance Series, for example, never gets written.

Understand, I resolve this exact thing every day, not just on New Year’s day. Seriously. Revisiting the list from 2016 and comparing it to this year’s list could be disheartening. they are almost identical. Why? The temptations—friends, email, social media—the sources of instant gratification, are alluring and difficult for me to fight. And the important stuff, the exercise, the healthy eating, the 1000 words/day, they don’t provide the same instant results that keep my dopamine levels skyrocketing. In other words, the battle is constant. Vigilance, determination, and eyes on the prize are necessary tools, and those are a real challenge for me. What about you?

Mindset is key here too. I can’t believe I will fail before I begin, and neither can you. I tried Noom this year and lost a few pounds pretty easily, to be honest. It was all about mindset, I remember when Cher made an exercise video and it ended with a phrase something like “remember how you feel right now, because that will keep you consistent.” Mindset again. And I did that video faithfully for months! Mindset is about putting that first foot forward on your personal journey. Getting started. Allowing the first achievement  to propel you forward to the second, the second to the third, and so forth.

Resolve to Make Incremental Changes

For the big stuff, I am trying to follow the advice of the experts who say we are more likely to succeed making incremental versus big changes. The five minutes of movement is easier to stick with than a promised daily hour at the gym. I can replace a candy bar with fruit after dinner, an incremental change, rather than promise to give up sugar completely. After all, I live for sugar. Experts also promise that it is easier to do something 100% than to do it 99%. Think about it and it makes sense. No is always no. So choose smaller changes to which you can always say an unequivocal yes or no.

So here are my incremental changes for 2022. I didn’t have to tweak the list much. By sharing them,  experts say I will be more likely to achieve them. I will check in down the road and let you know how I am doing. Feel free to share one or more items you resolve to achieve this year in the comments. We can check back with each other on progress.

• No sugary sweets after 8pm, period.
• Do Pilates at least twice a week (thank you mybalancedlife,com for a fabulous library of workouts to choose from)
• Read and sort the mail when it comes into the house instead of allowing it to pile up
• Unsubscribe to one annoying email every week
• Write, connect and write some more with the support of my creative writing sprint community, join more sprints and write more words every week. Increase the number every month.
• Engage in the 2022 elections to support at least one candidate and in the political process for at least one cause important to me

Those are my plans. Some are big, some are small, all are doable. Wish me luck and let me know how you plan to face 2022. Resolutions? No resolutions? Goals? Just put one foot in front of the other?

Two years ago, I joined an online Pilates instructor for a 5-day challenge and stayed, joining the Balanced Life Sisterhood, and becoming a big believer in everything Robin Long. She’s calm, inspiring and a brilliant pilates instructor. Someone from The Sisterhood asked her about setting goals for the new year. I loved her answer:

Q: Do you have any tips for setting goals in the new year?

A: I’m a big fan of goal setting, but getting started and trying to reach big, flashy goals without a plan can be intimidating! Here are three helpful tools for intentionally creating goals, rhythms, and routines:

• Pause, reflect, and create a clear vision for the woman you want to become this year with The Balanced Life’s Intentional Rhythms & Routines Guide.
• Set goals and say “yes” to what matters most with these 2022 Powersheets from Cultivate What Matters (a favorite of The Balanced Life team!).
• Tune in to our monthly off-the-mat mission for an easy way to stay mindful of a different area of wellness all year long. This month is all about nourishing our bodies with food!

And remember – celebrate all the progress you make toward your goals along the way!

What do you believe will work for you and why? I’d love to know.

You Might Also Like

For more on keeping your resolutions you might enjoy “You Say You Want a Resolution” by Martha Beck, Oprah Magazine, January, 2017 or “How to Keep Your Resolutions”, New York Times, January, 2014.