Starting Over in Life: The Powerful Truth About New Beginnings
Starting over in life doesn’t have an expiration date. Whether it happens after divorce, a career change, a move, a loss, or simply the realization that you want something more, a new beginning can happen at any age.
I used to think starting over was something you did when you were young. New school. New job. First apartment. First serious relationship.
Or because you had no choice. Divorce. Layoffs. Relocations.
Then life happened.
It turns out we’re all beginners more often than we’d like to admit. I should know. I’ve moved more times than I can count. And at nearly sixty, I walked away from a corporate career I’d had for thirty years and became a romance author.
Sensible? Maybe not.
Terrifying? Absolutely.
One of the best decisions I’ve ever made? You bet.
Since then, I’ve spent a lot of time writing about women who find themselves standing at their own unexpected crossroads. Women whose relationships end. Whose plans change. Who lose sight of dreams they once had—or discover entirely new ones.
Maybe that’s why I keep writing about women who are starting over.
Starting Over Isn’t Starting from Scratch
When you’re twenty and starting over, you may have optimism but not much experience.
When you’re older, you bring scars, mistakes, resilience, friendships, a better understanding of yourself and what you’ll tolerate, and, if you’re lucky, a sense of humor.
You aren’t beginning at zero. Not even close. You’re beginning with everything you’ve learned.
That’s the thing about starting over in life: experience comes with you.
When I got divorced in my mid-forties, I wasn’t the same woman who married in her twenties. And when I left my nine to five job, I wasn’t the same woman who had started that career thirty years earlier
Thank goodness.
I brought thirty years of experience with me. I knew how to focus on the endgame, meet a deadline, problem solve, work well with others, manage a project and pick myself up when something didn’t go according to plan.
Did I know how to write and publish romance novels? Not exactly.
Who am I kidding? Not even close!
I had a lot to learn, but I wasn’t starting from scratch. And neither are most of my heroines.
Starting over isn’t erasing everything that came before. It’s deciding what deserves to come with you. It means change, and maybe it changes you. But you are still you.
What Does Starting Over Really Mean?
Starting over doesn’t always mean rebuilding your entire life. Sometimes it’s changing careers. Sometimes it’s dating after divorce, moving somewhere new, pursuing a forgotten dream, making new friends, or simply deciding that the life you’re living isn’t the only life available to you.
A fresh start can be enormous or almost invisible to everyone but you. What matters is that you’re choosing what comes next.
Starting Over in Life When You Had Other Plans
Think about it.
You don’t shed thirty years of experience managing software engineers when you change careers. You take that experience with you and use it to build something new—a new career, a new business, a new chapter. Walking away from a failed marriage opens possibilities for new love. You have all heard the phrase “when a door closes a window opens.” Starting over is easier when we don’t have to do it completely alone.
My characters embrace those windows. Whether of their choosing or thrust upon them, I create heroines who are ready—or get ready quickly—for what comes next.
Sofia — Crazy to Believe
Divorce wasn’t the future she’d planned. She must decide whether to embrace a career or believe in love and family one more time.
A story of a woman whose relationship ended and isn’t sure she wants to risk her heart again.
Avery — Way Past Crazy
A different kind of second chance. Talk about realizing life may still have surprises when you thought you’d already figured out the ending.
The story of a woman who never thought she’d have a chance.
Willow — Crazy to Dream
Her reset is as much about chasing her dreams and identity as romance.
A woman willing to fight even her own desires to achieve her dreams.
Jules — Crazy Lessons in Love
She literally goes back through her romantic history looking for answers.
For all of us who ask why do my relationships keep ending this way?
And coming soon…
Sydney — Crazy in the Spotlight
She’s lost a husband, financial security, her career dreams and, to some degree, her sense of herself.
Until I put her on a cruise ship with a Broadway star. And make things complicated. Yeah, I like making things complicated.
She must ask, “Can I trust again?” before she can love again.
TA woman finally giving herself permission to discover who she is now—and what she still wants.
You Don’t Have to Start Over Alone
Just because we do it repeatedly in our lives, doesn’t mean starting over isn’t hard. New job. New home. New neighbors.
Starting over is scary.
But believe me, it’s way less scary when someone is beside you saying:
- You can do this.
- That’s a terrible idea.
- Wear the other dress.
- Don’t text him.
- Yes, you absolutely deserve better.
- Give me that phone.
- You’ve got this, Girl.
People like the Crazy Eights, lifelong friendships that survive a move or two. Women who throw you a divorce shower instead of a bridal shower. Women who make you laugh—and let you cry.
I didn’t create the Crazy Eights out of thin air. I have my own Crazies, women who have been my friend through job change, location changes, marital status changes, bad choices and really really bad choices.
They didn’t save me. They don’t need to. They remind me that I am capable of saving myself. And they offer a safety net for the times I fail, pick myself off and try again.
A loving, affectionate, resilient, and encouraging safety net. Just like my Crazy Eights.
And they make me laugh.
Romance Novels Let Us Practice Hope
Why do women enjoy stories about starting over? And believe me, they do. They love them.
I mean think about it. Pick up a romance and you know how it will end. It’s the getting there, the hurdles to jump between page one and the happy ending that we read for. Because for a few hours we get to inhabit a world where taking another chance can work.
Romance guarantees hope. Not an easy journey. Not perfection. But hope.
That’s one of the reasons I never apologize for writing happily ever afters. Real life doesn’t offer guarantees. Some call it escape but I think it’s more. Strong women in tough situations. Or women discovering their smarts, their capabilities, leading to love. And a partner worth loving.
Romance novels give you that guarantee.
Is It Ever Too Late to Start Over?
No. Starting over may look different at forty, fifty, sixty, or seventy than it did at twenty, but different doesn’t mean less meaningful. You bring more experience, more self-knowledge, and probably a much clearer idea of what you don’t want.
I started writing romance novels at nearly sixty. I could have told myself I’d missed my chance.
I’m very glad I didn’t.
What Are You Starting?
So, what about you? Are you considering:
- traveling somewhere new
- taking a class
- making new friends
- changing careers
- dating again
- something creative
- finally pursuing something you’ve postponed for years
Starting over doesn’t have to mean that something went terribly wrong. It doesn’t only happen because your life fell apart. Sometimes, it’s a choice. Sometimes it simply means you’re ready for something more. What’s your ‘something more’?
I started a new career, in a new city. I made new friends, started (and ended) relationships. What about you? Share your fresh start in the comments below.