Is Writing a Solo Sport? Should it Be?

Before I became an author, before the pandemic drove people from office buildings to their homes, I worked at a multinational corporation where I was the unofficial Social Director. Seriously, Julie could dazzle cruise goers on the Lido deck, but she had nothing on me when it came to suggesting drinks after work, lunches to celebrate the smallest of occasions, and every holiday that came our way. Dessert buffets for Valentine’s Day were always my favorite, and the adults actually loved decorating shoe boxes and exchanging Valentine cards. You’d be surprised.

But then I retired and became a writer. And writing, if nothing else, is an enterprise of independence and self-motivation. It is also an exercise in solitude, and often, loneliness.

I have sisters. I love them and adore spending time with them, even when they annoy me. I have a boyfriend. He’s fun and adventurous and has a fun family. I have a wonderful family, cousins and their children, and smart women friends. I am happy when I spend an evening with them, when we share a meal or talk on the phone for hours.

But all of them impede your writing. It’s just a fact. An author can choose to write, or they can choose to socialize, but they can’t do both.

Or can they?

So, is Writing a Solo Sport? 

A lot has been written about writing as a solo sport. Some experts argue authors must bite the bullet, learn to turn down invitations and put words on paper. They aren’t wrong.

But these same experts will be the first to admit that authors need a team to support them. In one post from the NY Book Editors “11 Things No One Tells You About Being a Writer” they speak to both being alone and being with a group in a single post.

Item one on their list is about being a hermit. “When you enter the world of serious writing, you leave behind your social life. The closest you’ll get to interacting with the outside world is if you pack up your laptop and head to a nearby coffee shop. At least there you can look like you’re social, even if you’re in the corner, in the back… with headphones on.”

Yep. The post puts that first on the list of the eleven items they share. But scroll down to number ten and you get a different, perhaps conflicting, message.

“You need to surround yourself with other writers. So, writers are hermits, no doubt about it. But writers also need to socialize with each other for perspective, advice, and some semblance of sanity.

“Check out this post for our favorite writing communities. Joining an online writer’s group can become a welcome respite to a life of self-imposed isolation. Plus, other writers can empathize with your struggles more than well-meaning family and friends.”

Can both statements be accurate? You bet! Trust me; they are.

The trick is to do exactly what the NY Book Editor post suggests. Leave your friends to themselves. Surround yourself with other authors if you want to finish your book. Search out experts, find a group, be selective. Hell, be downright picky. Find the people who can benefit you the most, and ideally, with whom you forge a true rapport, even a friendship.

No Solo Flying for me, I Joined Pencils and Lipstick

I joined a writing sprint team this year consisting of women I consider friends. We support each other’s work. We hold each other accountable. We write together. Really. We set a timer—thank you Alexa—and sit on zoom calls, heads down. We write.  Don’t get me wrong—we talk too. Before we begin writing, between sprints, before we say farewell for the day.

But a writing group like this solves the problem of choice. I choose to write and socialize, and Pencils and Lipstick allows be to do both. I spend hours with friends who write. No choosing one or the other.

But P&L does more than that, just as its founder, author Kat Caldwell, intended. “I set up the Creative Writing Community because I knew there had to be other writers out there who wanted to write together and learn together. The most powerful thing about the group is the accountability we have with the writing sprints and the camaraderie in sharing what we know and yet feeling safe enough to ask what we don’t.”

The community Kat created pushes me forward as a writer, challenges me as a mentor, as a marketer, as CEO of my author business, and does the same for my friends in the community.

We bring our problems to one another and solve them as a team—one is a terrific blurb writer, one is a wiz at formatting. Ashley is our resident graphic designer and Angie our tech guru. Together we tackle, and resolve, the big and small problems that plague independent authors. We provide feedback on stories, cover art, launch plans. We fulfill the role of editor or help one another find a great editor. The group considers traditional publishing too, since not everyone in the community is an indie author. There are discussions of agents, query letters and more.

When I joined P&L, we sprinted three times a week. But soon we missed each other, missed the accountable writing time, the lessons learned. Now we meet five days per week and Slack lights up with messages all day and night between sprints. We cannot get enough of each other.

I’ll tell you the truth. This was not my first sprint group, but it will be my last. And that’s the key. Try out group until you find the one that works for you. Do you only have 30 minutes to write? Find a group that only writes half an hour. Prefer to write in the morning? Find the group that sprints before work each day, or before they make the kids lunches.

My group writes children’s books to memoirs to literary fiction. And, of course, romance. Yet we found the glue that holds us together. It might be Kat, our fearless leader, or it might be our dedication to the work. We have moms who write with toddlers climbing on them, mother’s home-schooling their teens, and women with no children present to interrupt. Doesn’t matter. We all love to write.

That is our common thread. We love to improve at our craft and listen to each other and the experts who come speak to us. We want to be successful authors.

The Antithesis of Shiny Object Syndrome

New indie authors think they have to do everything alone. Or they do what I did and buy every snake oil solution targeting new authors until they have no money and no idea where to start. But the truth is you need mentors you trust and friends who have your back.

Allesandra Torres, founder of InkersCon and NY Times bestselling novelist, offered a splendid piece of advice during a recent webinar she created around effectively using Goodreads. “ I do want to clarify that Goodreads is an area that I have passion and expertise in, but I’m not an expert on every part of publishing (see the dunce cap?). And no one is, because each one of us (no matter our level of success) took different paths and have different strengths and the best way that you are going to find success is by assembling a team of people like me, each with our own areas of expertise and then cherry-picking what from their advice and guidance works for you.”

Follow her advice, it is incredibly useful and will save you a ton of money on books, webinars and expensive marketing courses you will never complete. Seriously, shiny object syndrome is real, so is FOMO, and both are very costly.

Choose your mentors wisely, remember don’t take everything they say at face value. Cherry Pick, as Alessandra suggests. Then do the same with your group. Shop for the best mentors and the best group and then take advantage of what they offer. You want and need them both.

Trust me, sitting alone in a Starbucks might make you feel you are working with other people, but they aren’t the people who will propel your career forward. They won’t ask where you were when you don’t show up, or provide useful feedback before you go down a story rabbit hole that will eat a week of your time but produce zero results. The right group? The right mentors? They will.

If you are interested in searching before the end of 2021, learn more about the Creative Writing Community here and join us for a no-risk sprint.